Laila man. I really believe you are a good guy overall just a bit anxious and acting emotionally at times. Your post does not look like a proper plea. Here is what I would do:
1. I would admit I was wrong, made mistakes and apologise to all the people who take care of the server and this community. This comes only after realisation, that it is their place, their rules, because they have built it.
2. Make sure apologise comes from the heart, it will be more convincing.
3. Promise that I will strive to better up my behaviour in the future and WORK conciously on my attitude.
4. Hit the gym to get some steam out.
Hope that helps man. Good luck and hopefully see you in game.